Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Danger! Splenetic geyser of vitriol ahead!

I have a lot of pet peeves. More than you, I'm sure. No, I mean it--my pet peeves could kick your pet peeves' asses. I don't spout off or write about them all the time because a) people who are always spouting off about their pet peeves are pains in the ass; and b) I'm too lazy. Also, many of my pet peeves involve the existence of children, and I'm not always in the mood to piss off pretty much everyone I come in contact with (unless they make the mistake of asking me "Why don't you want children? Don't you like children?" in which case I feel compelled to make a joke involving fava beans and a good chianti).

So I love it when I stumble across something someone else has written about one of my pet peeves. It usually makes me feel a bit vindicated about my (usually) minority and unpopular (but entirely correct, of course) opinion. So today I'm happy to know that I'm not the only person who hates and fears those giant-ass strollers that people with kids are always pushing around. Honestly, I wouldn't feel so hostile toward the very idea of children if if weren't for the behemoth contraptions in which their parents parade them around, expecting the rest of us to part like the Red Sea to let them pass.

Nothing ruins a nice restaurant meal like having to get up and pull your chair aside so that someone who never got the message that yes, your lifestyle must change when you have children, decides that they must eat at a tiny, trendy bistro with their spawn-mobile instead of at Red Lobster or Chili's where they belong. OK actually, one thing is far worse: when parents of ambulatory kids decide that it's perfectly OK to let their kids roam about the restaurant at will, going up to other diners' and grabbing parmesan cheese or dinner rolls off of their tables. That happens to us regularly. Whatever happened to babysitters, anyway? Yeah, they're expensive, but so's the dinner your kids are ruining for everyone else.

See, this is one reason I don't have comments. I know people may very well disagree with me vehemently and think I'm a monster or want to spout off about their god-given "rights" as Americans to eat at tiny, trendy bistros with their squalling, slobbery issue in tow. But having commenting ability here might give the mistaken impression that I actually want to hear about it. Besides, they can always e-mail me, although I know these days that's considered just way too much trouble. Oh well.

Have a swell day, y'all!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This, a million times this. You have my total and unquestionable agreement about the little troll spawn.