Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Hello, I'm back.

No post yesterday because I was still exhausted from the flyball tournament weekend in Charleston. I should probably say a little something about flyball since most people don't know anything at all about it. So I'll put that on my list of things I could possibly write about one of these days. Right now, I'm going to participate in yet another meme from Mala. The deal is that she answered three questions from someone else, and then she had to make up three for others to answer. Then the others make up three for more others to answer. Sure it's rather pointless, but so's my whole blog, so I'm all for it. Here are Mala's questions ... and my answers:

1. If you could spend one year in perfect happiness, but then remember nothing of it, would you do so? Why or why not?
No, just as I wouldn't want to completely erase the memory of a perfectly horrible year. I think memory is a very important part of consciousness, intelligence and self-awareness. Without memory people would be like slugs, just groping along looking for the next bit of pansy to munch on until the day some bastard pours salt on them. I realize that I've just implied that slugs have no memory when in fact they could actually have fantastic memories. For all I know every bit of their little slimy slug bodies, apart from the part that eats the pansies and the eye stalks or antennae or whatever they are, could be dedicated to preserving memory and nothing else. The truth is I don't really know anything at all about slugs except that my preferred methods for keeping them away from my pansies are: Sluggo and in the cases of severe infestation, going out just after dark with a container of soapy water, picking up the slugs (with gloved hands) and dropping them into the soapy water.

2. You are given the opportunity to become a superhero. What powers would you have and what would you be called?
I'm fond of saying that I'd like to have the ability to smite people. But that might not be good because I'd probably just use it on some of the annoying people here at work to amuse myself and not for the greater good of the world. The only powers that come to mind are vague abilities to enforce fairness and justice, like perhaps I could give nightmares and crippling acid reflux to the CEOs of companies who lay off thousands just to give a temporary boost to their stock prices ... or maybe I'd be like the ghosts that visit Ebenezer Scrooge at Christmas, showing the people who grow fat off the misery of others exactly what their luxuries cost the world. I'd also like to be able to converse with dogs. I have no idea what I'd call myself, but it would have to be something that reflected my vast range of powers without sounding like the title of an action movie. Honestly I think "Lisa" is a perfectly good thing to be called, so maybe I'll stick with it.

3. How do you react when people in a restaurant sing "Happy Birthday" to you?
With a combination of happiness and embarrassment. On one hand I'm happy that people not only remember my birthday but actually go to the trouble of doing something about it--especially considering that outside of my immediate family I never remember anyone's birthday and I'm not known for my abilities to organize a big birthday blowout. On the other hand, when people sing happy birthday in a restaurant it calls attention to the table and disrupts everyone else's nice lunch or dinner and that's just embarrassing. I don't like being the cause of such foolishness. It's only worth it if there is some sort of free dessert involved.

Now I am making up three questions for others to answer. I suppose I need three people. If you want to play just e-mail me.

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