Friday, May 27, 2005

I know, I know, I'm going to hell ....

...but first I've got an entire weekend of agility to look forward to! And if you're local and you've got nothing better to do, feel free to come by and watch some agility (hey, it's free). Here's how to get there.

But here's what, among other things, would send me to hell if there were such a place. I'm reading people's prayers to St. Anthony for entertainment purposes. (Matt Ryan, who never updates his blog, sent me a link to the St. Anthony site a while back.) Here are a few of today's (they change every day or two):
Lord, I thank You for all that You do for me and I thank You for Your love. Lord, I pray that You will release me from Charley. The man does nothing but tell lies and play games. Release me from him once and forall. No more thoughts, no more nothing. Just please set me free. Lord, I love You and I trust in You, in Jesus name, Amen.

St.Anthony, a Saint of hopeless cases, please help Cyril get a very good job.

Youngest daughter works with Candace( who doesn't pull her load and is hard to get along with; also is a snitch. Claims to be a Christian. I ask for prayer that all the girls get along and work as a unit. My daughter is a hard worker and wants to quit because Candace doesn't pull her load. My daughter needs her job.

I'm terrible, aren't I?


andrew said...

You are terrible. These poor people open up their souls all you can do is mock them.

On the other hand, fuck it, they deserve mockery. Here's my favorite:

'I have a bad rash on my arms and back side, and it's getting worse, I pray its goes away with God, Jesus and the Holy sprite help. Thank you, SMH

That's the new slogan for Sprite apparently: "Quench your thirst, cure your psoriasis."

I found it kind of ironic that none of the people prayed for their spelling or grammar.

Anyway, since when did St Anthony read blogs to find out what people need help with?

andrew said...

Curse you, Ms. Pants - I just spent a whole day reading prayers to St Anthony, laughing out loud and sending to my friends

Lisa B. said...

I am eeeeeeevil!!

andrew said...

Not as evil as, oh I don't know, going to the st anthony site and sending in bogus prayers...

Check out somebody called 'ADR' on 30th May, and Andrew, Canada with his follow up prayer on May 31st...

Lisa B. said...

oh you wicked, wicked boy!

Anonymous said...

I think it's odd how you've mocked these people.
Barely comprehensible...
I just saw 10 people get saved in my youth group tonight, and nothing was ever more amazing.
I just hope that in some point in your life, God finds you, because i'd love to open my door in God's mansion and find you next door.
Your best friend being saved is something so great and touching you cry. I just saw my best friend in the whole world get saved. No one laughed. Not one person in church. We smiled and congratulated her.
I know if you open yourself up to the people who love you (Those crazy yelling, Jesus-high preachers???) , they will help you become saved.
Believe me they're SO fun. You'll love them when you find the right one. (church).
It's either eternity in hell or heaven, and i promise you i will not mock you when i ask God about "that blogger who mocked the prayers" and he says you're in hell. I'll probably cry and worry for you, but i won't worry for now.
God's got a plan, and the day you are saved, whether it's on your grave or tomorrow, I just hope i get to meet you and say "Welcome home" when you get to heaven.
God bless you, truly,
-a fellow child of God

Lisa B. said...

Thanks, but I'd feel guilty living it upin God's mansion while there are people on earth who don't even have toilets ...