Friday, July 29, 2005

Things I could do but won't ....

I really need to do something worthwhile. Before I die. Y'know, so I don't die without having done something worthwhile and all.

The folks over at The Reader Sucks gave me a fine idea to perform the same sort of service for Triangle residents ... only mine would be called "The Independent Sucks" and it would, of course, be about The Independent and not the Chicago Reader. The endeaver would be worthwhile because The Independent sucks far worse than The Reader ever has. See, even though The Reader is home to horrid, heinous things like movie reviewer Jonathan Rosenbaum (or, as we used to call him, Rozenputz or Rosenshitz), at least one could look forward to loathing him every week. In The Independent, there's not even anyone worth hating. Seriously--the rag has absolutely no personality whatsoever. It's rare that I can even make it all the way through a headline, that's how boring it is. And because it's written by the squishy people for the squishy people, it's completely predictable. You can bet every viewpoint will be slightly left-of-center (enough to be "hip") but not so left that it could possibly offend anyone the Indy's advertisers might want as a customer. (And remember kids, every viewpoint is equally valid, even the totally shitty and wrongheaded ones!)

So dedicating a few moments each week writing encomiums (encomia?) to the suckiness of our local weekly would be heroic. Alas, I'm no hero. I tried making myself read The Indy this week and failed. I try every week, and usually find myself paging ahead to the place in the classifieds where Independent Animal Rescue puts pictures of the dogs and cats they have available. Seriously, it's the most exciting thing about that paper.

2 comments:

elsacapuntas said...

amen!!!

the independent: preaching to the choir for over zzzz....

but, doesn't everyone have the secret fantasy of showing up in the "missed connections" section?

Lisa B. said...

I suppose if I were single I would. I never even look at the missed connections (although now that you mention it, those types of things are usually entertaining. maybe I'll glance at them this week after I go look at the dogs and cats ...)