Wednesday, October 26, 2005

So many innings, so little sleep

Sorry White Sox, I couldn't do it. Fourteen innings ... I had to give up on you at 1:15 am and go to bed. When I got up this morning, Mr Pants murmured from under the covers that the Sox had won. I asked who hit in the winning run, and he said "some guy off the bench I'd never heard of." That would be Geoff Blum ... if you're interested here's a brief rundown of the game.

But more importantly: I was stunned to see that some of the more hirsute Houston Astros--most notably Lance Berkman, who was the most lumberjack-like of the bunch--followed my advice and trimmed their beards before this game. I was feeling very influential in the baseball world until I found out that the beard-trimming had been an attempt by the Astros to change their luck (baseball players are notoriously superstitious). But at least I wasn't imagining their facial-hair fixation--a quick search revealed that indeed, the Astros may be more beard-obsessed that the average team.

Extra-inning games can be grueling, but let me tell you the absolute worst thing about watching baseball on TV: The mind-meltingly horrible truck ads, which come one after another, over and over again during sports programming. I find them terribly culturally embarrassing, both because they highlight this country's love affair with conspicuous petroleum profligacy and because they take so much glee in the image of American men as hyper-aggressive meatheads who love nothing more than to get into pissing contests over who has the biggest equipment. Never mind that the image is, in some cases, very accurate--it's just the last thing I want representing the country where fate happens to have placed me--the one I have to tell people I am from when I go abroad (of course I could always lie and say I'm Canadian). One truck commercial (I think it may be for the Dodge Ram) proudly describes the truck in question as "intimidating" and shows it menacing a rival truck into peeing submissivly like a puppy. I'd me much happier if the ads just came out and said "Hey, you know you're a big dumb fuck with an inferiority complex, and you need to drive a big fucking truck to feel secure in your masculinity. Dodge Ram. Get it? RAM! RAM! RAM!"

(I'd like to proudly point out that when Mr. Pants isn't biking to work he drives a little Hyundai Elantra. He's a professional tree-hugger, by the way)

4 comments:

Lalitree said...

Couldn't agree with you more!

reuben said...

I've been reading your site for a few months now and I thoroughly enjoy the lunch photos. I was a bit disappointed to learn that you were White Sox fan, but at least you are not a Yankee fan. We're going to the game tonight and we're praying that we can avoid a sweep. But as an Astro's fan, I don't know if I can take any more of this.

As for the ads, I totally agree with you. On the local station broadcasting the series there is a Dodge PSA that decries the ills of drag racing. But try as it might to paint this practice as uncool and illegal, they still can't escape their image. At the end of the PSA, a different voice encourages the recently chided drag racers to continue to "grab life by the horns." I think that kind of dulls the warning, right?

Lisa B. said...

Hi reuben! I'm definitely not a Yankee fan--I become a fan of whoever is playing the Yankees at any given moment! Have a great time at the game tonight (Hold up a sign that says "Hi, I'm Reuben," and I'll try to pick you out of the crowd shots.

Yeah, I think that "Grab Life By The Horns" is secret code for "Take your Dodge drag racing, just don't get caught!"

I will start taking more lunch photos soon ... I've been eating really boring lunches lately.

wordnerdy said...

i also drive a hyundai elantra! woohoo for smallish cars!