Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I'm tired of that question already!

"Are you ready for Christmas yet?" I'm going to have to start answering "Ready for what? Christmas? Wow, are they doing that this year too? I didn't realize it was an annual thing ..." I know people say that to be conversational ... it's like remarking about the weather--just a little shared reference point that keeps chance encounters between acquaintances and shared elevator rides from being too uncomfortably silent. Still, I'm never sure how to answer because I don't really get "ready" for xmas, I just buy a few gifts for people and eat too many sweets, and that's about it.

I did take a half day off work yesterday to buy the few gifts that I needed. Mom said she wants turtlenecks, so turtlenecks it shall be. I went to old, ignored Northgate Mall because I figured there would be plenty of turtleneckage available but I could avoid the crowds at new, popular Streets at Southpoint, a place I find rather repulsive. It was a wise choice, but I still ended up grouchy. I don't know how some people find shopping to be a fun pastime.

I got pissed off at Hecht's because they advertised a price on the rack that wasn't the price in the register (the register brought up a price a whopping $15 dollars higher than their "one day sale" sign promised! Plus a "two for $14" deal turned out to be more of a "buy one get one free" thing: If you only wanted one, or if they only had one in your mom's tiny size, they still wanted you to pay $14. Bastards.) Rather than make the clerk bring out a manager and piss off the six people behind me in line, I said "Fuck your fucking turtleneck sweaters!" No, just kidding, I said "Well in that case no thanks" and bought my turtlenecks elsewhere.

Then I started seeking trinkets for the co-workers in my section. Nothing big. last year I made them all something. I was too lazy for that this year, but then the task of finding little gifts for each of them became very annoying very quickly. I'd find something perfect for two or three of them that wasn't perfect for anyone else (mostly it's the men who mess the whole thing up!) Then my eye fell upon a huge display of Slinkys. Hooray, everybody's getting a fucking slinky!! And so they did. And there was much rejoicing.

I think Mr. Potato Heads may be in order for next year.

In other news, I guess I'll be on the radio/webstream yet again this evening, 8-10 pm Eastern US. Locals: 88.7 FM, everyone else: The playlist shall reside here.


andrew said...

It is a toughie: how to respond when people ask you about xmas and how you are spending it.

We get asked things like have we put a tree up yet? You could reply, "I am just about to, please bend over."

No, my stock response is, "We don't really do anuthing for christmas." We have an excuse in that there are only 2 of us - and obviously as we are a childless we are only one step above godless homosexual pagans - and our parents live between 1000 and 4000 miles away so we are excused by a lot of people. But you can't overplay that aspect - last year we trotted out our "we don't really do anything for Easter" excuse to friends and they took pity on us and made us come over for supper. So we just say, "We don't go over the top at xmas - just the two of us." Or "We're spending the day with friends."

But we can't go as far to really espouse our views on xmas, or even ask why people would want us to celebrate the birth of some guy we think is the most destructive force in history. People get offended. That has its advantages. This really creepy anti-semetic priest who lives in our village asked me last year what i was doing for nativity. I asked him what "nativity" was and when he explained I said point blank, "Oh we don't do celebrate that."

Anyway, our Dec 25th meal this year is pancakes at friends house for brunch. Can't wait.

jenn h. said...

I feel your pain about the xmas thing! It's been pointed out at least 3 times that I have not worn any red or green this week. But try getting pregnant. OMG if I hear "Ready for the baby?!" one more time I will flog someone.