Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Food is good. I like food.

Things that go bad are worse if they happen when you're hungry.

But first, something's going right: I went back to the dentist today so he could check on the results of the gum-torture procedure he performed last week. Apparently all is span-spiffidy so far ... my gums actually seemed to like the torture, because he pointed out to his helper-tech woman how healthy my gums look. I'm cleared to chew actual food again as long as I don't use the front teeth (those were the gums he tortured).

I had brought a sweet potato for lunch--I was going to nuke it and mash it up--but I decided that I needed to to celebrate my permission to chew. I decided to stop on the way back to work at Whole Foods and get something tasty from the hot bar. Have I mentioned before what a gawdawful heinous clusterfrack the Raleigh Whole Foods is at lunchtime? I think I have but it was a while back, so it bears repeating--because I had forgotten: Do not ever go to the Raleigh Whole Foods for lunch if you are going to arrive any later than 11:45 or so. That is unless you enjoy the irony of being one of about 50 vehicles (many of which are high-end SUVs) circling the parking lot spewing health- and environment-destroying fumes into the atmosphere while the occupants look for a parking spot so they can go enjoy a healthy and perhaps environmentally-friendly midday meal. On my second pass through I was about to give up and go nuke a sweet potato when I found a space for the Pantsmobile.

Once inside, I fought my way through the hordes of well-heeled barbarians to the hot bar, where I assembled the following repast:

lunch from the hot bar

I decided that while I was there I needed to restock my work stash of "Chocolate Underground" yogurt, which allows me to pretend I'm having dessert or a decadent snack whilst eating something not in and of itself isn't likely to make me fat. The bastards were out of it! Nooooooo! I screamed, shaking my fist at the dairy case gods who had let me down. Then I decided to try the chocolate soy pudding:

chocolate soy pudding

which weighed in about the same as the yogurt in terms of fat-production capacity.

Having only two items, I said no thanks to both paper AND plastic at the checkout like a good little world citizen and bobbed on back to my internal combustion vehicle ... which was completely blocked in by an idling semi! I thought surely the semi driver knows that his mega-vehicle is blocking in about 15 cars and he is going to move any minute now, right? After several minutes of no movement by the semi, I went to ask him what the frack? Apparently a delivery van was blocking the way to the back of the building, which is where semi driver needed to go. So he was planning to sit there until delivery van guy moved.

Did I mention this was about an hour after my normal lunchtime already, and I was starving and my little plate of food was getting cold? I was almost ready to just start crying ... but apparently somebody with a cool head talked the semi driver into moving a bit to let some cars exit their parking spaces. Full meltdown averted, I got into my little pollution pod, went back to the office and chewed my food. I felt much, much better.

And the soy pudding kicks ass. I can't wait until lunch tomorrow so i can have another one.


christa said...

i think it must be a whole foods regulation to choose a location with woefully suckass parking.

that said -- YAY FOR YOU for getting to eat food!

Santos said...

make your own soy pudding: just melt down a nice quantity of semi-sweet chocolate (a small bag of chocolate chips works fine), add a block of silken tofu, run through a blender or food processor until smooth. tofurrific!