Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Went to bed, hit his head and forgot to get up in the morning

I admit I'm rather morbid and I often think about death, dead bodies (speaking of which, Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach is one of my favoritest books evah), ways people become dead, etc. As I've accumulated lots of online friends and acquaintances I've wondered many times how I would notify them should I happen to snuff it unexpectedly. My preferred method would be for my ghost to go on a world tour and scare the living crap out of everyone, but since I don't actually believe in ghosts the possibility of that happening appears very remote.

Fortunately, thanks to Wiki-How, there is a step-by-step guide on How to Share Your Obituary With Your Online Friends. But wait, I just realized that it involves a bit of work. Is there a lazy person's version, because I really can't see myself even remembering half this stuff, much less acutally making a list of it.

OK, I've got it. Should I not update this blog, post new photos to Flickr, respond to comments or emails, etc., and you're wondering if I'm dead, go over to the list of links on the right that says "Locals." Chances are if I were to croak one of them would probably have heard something about it. If it's a slow day, maybe one of them would even blog my passing. At any rate, you could always post a comment asking "Hey, whatever happened to that Pants person? Her blog has become a real snore lately." So there. That was easy.

The topic of morbidity reminds me of something I spoke about a couple of weeks ago: sanitizing everything to make it "safe" for children. I just remembered that my niece told me that some overzealous crazies have even tried to "clean up" a popular children's prayer--the one that starts out "Now I lay me down to sleep," to remove the reference to death: "If I should die before I wake." My niece couldn't remember what exactly they have the children say instead, but the idea is to protect the children from the thinking about the possibility of death because ... well I don't have any idea why the hell people do shit like that. So the children grow up completely unable to handle the realities of life and can thus write more interesting memoirs as an emotionally crippled adult? I guess that makes sense.


Anonymous said...

Obit: BunchofPants succumbed to the sudden interwebs death syndrome, ‘blog-o-noma’ surrounded by mix tapes, family, friends, and google ads. She is survived by her blog ‘complete bunch of pants, her flickr stream, pets, family and friends and with a slightly less bunch in her pants. Donations in her name can be made to the Shakira’s Hips Half-way Home for Wayward Hookers.

your sister in death,

Lisa B. said...

hee hee, blog-o-noma!

kris said...

HAHAHAHA!! burnt takes the cake every time!!!

i would write "bunchofpants is t eh d34d3rs. she is *totally* /end."

hee hee!

the blog-o-sphere would really mourn your passing so don't die yet or i'll kill you.

Paul McRae said...

You will be missed.

Lisa B. said...

How can you miss me when I won't go away?

ted said...

Hey! You stole that from me! That's the title of the unfinished country and western that me and Jody were writing together (she was somehow very inspired when I lived with her and said "write me some song lyrics, I have a title: How can i miss you when you won't go away) I just really know how to get people's creative juices flowing, eh?

Thought I'd lighten the mood here with an old link. These babies had been fed a steady diet of Diana (Mrs. Pinochet) Ross's latest album:

(you're right I need my own blog, but it's so much more fun to commandeer yours!)


Lisa B. said...

Seriously, dude, get a blog.