Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Did I say happy or crappy?

Happy, I think. As in Happy Easterween, y'all. Rakka and Leff rock.

But I'm feeling a bit curmudgeonly about the whole halloween thing right now. I mean, it's great when it's an excuse to drink elaborate alcoholic concoctions, eat nibbly things and play with eyeballs, but inevitably arrives the evening when all the children in the vicinity think you have nothing better to do than sit around the house just waiting to give them all candy. What I'm really in the mood to do is dress like something from the crypt, hide in the bushes, and jump out with a mighty "raaarrrrr" when they come up the walk. Unfortunately, in a fit of "landscaping" a few years ago I deemed the existing bushes-big-enough-to-hide-behind to be hideous and I replaced them with petite and maintenance-free dwarf yaupon hollies. Perhaps I could lie like a corpse on the sidewalk ...

OK, I lied, I'm actually in the mood to curl up on the sofa and watch TV.

Halloween was fun the past two years when we held the annual sit-on-the-neighbors'-porch-and-drink-beer-whilst-dispensing-candy fest, but alas those neighbors ran away to Egypt. I'm still wondering if it was something I said. In their place are a polite French couple with an infant, who have yet to show any inclination to engage in the charming custom of porch drinking. They also accused me of scraping their couple-with-a-baby-mobile with the Pantsmobile ... well, OK, "accuse" is a strong word when the guy really just asked if I perhaps had happened to have scraped their car with mine and forgot to mention it to them (no, I hadn't). At any rate, fuck them is the way I'm feeling right now.

But Back to halloween: what really gripes me about the whole trick-or-treat thing is that people around here want to start dragging their kids around at 5:30 pm. What the hell is up with that shit? When I was a kid we didn't go out trick-or-treating until after dinner--I think it would have been considered quite rude to have shown up at someone's house asking for candy at 5:30. What's wrong with these people? Perhaps I shall make a sign and put it on the front door that says "No candy until I've walked the dogs and had some dinner. Assholes."

I should stop blogging-while-cranky, shouldn't I?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Thanks, Seth!

still life with liquor and eyeballs

Thanks to Seth, I was able to cobble together costumes of a sort for Mr. Pants and I to attend the annual Charming English Cottage of Death Halloween party. Yes indeedly-doodly, we were Ceiling Fans! Well, perhaps more precisely we were "Ceilings" fans, because that's what our shirts said, but no one was in the mood to quibble, and the costumes produced the appropriate amount of chuckling. OK, I use the term "costume" very generously, because all we did was wear some "Ceilings" T-shirts. (I decided on just "Ceilings" as opposed to "Go Ceilings" when a co-worker pointed out that sports team shirts don't really ever say "Go." Perhaps we were over-analyzing a bit). I think we scored a few points on the costume-impression scale by the fact that I made the shirts myself, with stencils and some fabric paint. I'd post photos of the shirts but I was too lazy to take any good ones. Mr. Pants liked his shirt so much he wore it all day Sunday.

Oh and in other significant weekend events I must mention that Scott roasted a goat Saturday. There was much rejoicing and a good time was had by all ... except maybe the goat, of course. I hope Scott doesn't mind me plastering his photo on the internets (perhaps to be found by folks using the Google?), but the event looked something like this:

scott and his roasting goat

Does anyone want a puppy?

Thursday, October 26, 2006


I want to dress up as something for Halloween but I'm too lazy to come up with a costume. What can I be?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I have been having thoughts lately ...

... but I can't be bothered to write them down.

But more importantly, I took care of this little puppy for the past four days:

yes, i am adorable indeed

She needs a home. Didn't you say you wanted a puppy? I've been calling her Zsa Zsa, in case that helps ...

Friday, October 20, 2006

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's Wednedsay night ...

... and I'm going to be on the radio. Blah blah blah, 88.7 FM, blah blah blah, wxdu.org, blah blah blah ...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Just reading the paper on a Sunday morning ...

I almost get giddy when I get to read anything new by Michael Pollan, so I was quite happy this a.m. to see this article in the NYT Magazine: The Vegetable-Industrial Complex. Mmm, tainted spinach.

In other news, Mr. Pants and I went to the NC State Fair yesterday morning. It was OK. Here's a highlight:

And of course, there are adorable little piggies there, too:

UPDATE: The News & Observer Blog-On-A-Stick has a much better vid of the guy. (Thanks to Georg for pointing me to the Blog-On-a-Stick).

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Guess what? Chicken butt!

Hey, y'know the um, "case" involving certain athletes from a certain local expensive university accused of, well, you know what? Well why is it that everyone defending those athletes is such a shitheaded asshole? Really, I'd love to know. It seems that one shitheaded asshole couldn't post his shitheaded spewings here, on account of my nifty comment-moderation, he decidedto go post over at the dog blog. It wasn't even any sort of intelligent attept at debate, just a shitheaded question about whether I'd feel more comfortable leaving my dog overnight with the alleged you-know-whatists or the accuser and her fellow entertainer, except the shithead used different words to describe the folks involved. Dude, what the fuck? Golly, you make such a compelling case, I just don't know what to think anymore ...

Oh, and here's my answer, by they way: go fuck yourself.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Stupid bargain cable ....

As I've mentioned before, we got the bottom-rung cable plan because we rarely watch any television at all. So of course it doesn't include the one channel with the one program we actually want to watch. That's right, kiddies, it's that time again: Battlestar Galactica's new season starts tonight. I've downloaded my free season 1 & 2 recap from iTunes, I've taken the "What's Your Rank" quiz over at the Sci Fi website (I'm an admiral, thank you very much--see photographic proof above), but I can't watch the frakkin' show on my stupid television tonight.

On the plus side, we do get 4 home shopping channels and one that seems to be all infomercials all the time.