Thursday, February 22, 2007

[insert expletive here]

I'm so pissed off. I lost my brand new crack phone.

See, about a month ago the contract was set to expire on my old "shoe phone," so named because it was a big ol' Nokia model, popular about 4 or 5 years ago. It was really too big to carry around conveniently, so it was a pain in the ass. The battery would only hold a charge for a day or so and I would never remember to charge it at night so if I left it on it would go dead and then I'd have this big, inconvenient dead cell phone weighing me down. Consequently, I only turned the phone on when I wanted to call out or when I had pre-arranged for someone to be able to reach me on it. Oh yeah, and I had forgotten the voicemail password long ago and would rather gnaw off my right arm than deal with Alltel's awful customer support people to figure out how to retrieve or reset it, so it was pretty useless as a message system.

Anyway, the plan was outrageously expensive for the 9 minutes or so per month that I actually used the phone, so Mr. Pants decided that when the contract was up I should get a pay-as-you-go phone instead. It's called a crack phone because if you like, it can be completely anonymous and untraceable so that when the heat is on and the fuzz are on your ass you can just toss it out your car window and go buy a new one. I had no plans to toss mine out the window, I just wanted a phone in case I needed to call someone from the grocery store and say "They're out of blueberry Pop-Tarts. How about strawberry frosted instead?" You never know when you're going to need to do that.

So Mr. Pants picked me up a crack phone, a cute little Motorola that's tiny and light and quite easy to carry around. What's more, it can stay on for 4 or 5 days on a battery charge and the charger itself is cute and compact and also easy to stow, making it easy to carry along as well. So it turns out, I could actually treat this like a real cell phone and keep it turned on just in case someone felt like calling me (so far only one person has). I also know the voice mail password. It's a great feeling.

In short, the crack phone works for me. So this evening, when I took the dogs for an outing, I stowed it in my "dog bag," which is the tummy pack with treats, poop bags and other miscellany that I carry on dog outings. I figured it would be handy in case I sprained my ankle or something. Well it's a good thing I didn't sprain an ankle because the damn little phone slipped out of the bag somewhere along the way (probably after I opened it to get out a poop bag).

So, somewhere in or around Jaycee Field Park (that's the one just north of Northgate Park, where they are putting the new dog park ... which is almost finished, BTW) and the section of greenway path just north of it lies my cute little crack phone. I went back right after discovering it was missing, carrying Mr. Pants cell phone so I could call my number and listen for ringing, and I wandered around a bit dialing and listening but I didn't hear any ringing (Flight of the Bumblebee is my ring tone). I couldn't really retrace all my steps because it had gotten dark and was creepy and not the kind of place a woman wants to be alone at night (Mr. Pants was unavailable to accompany me).

So now I'm pissed off, powerless to search for my phone but knowing it's probably just lying on the ground out there waiting ton be found. If the damn thing weren't so cute and small I probably would have heard the clunk when it hit the ground ...

Anyway, if you have any plans to be around those parts over the next few days (hint, hint, Chris Graham), let me know and I'll give you my crack phone number so you can try calling it.

2 comments:

Ike said...

If you're like me, and you virtually never use your "crack phone," then I recommend Virgin Mobile, which is the cheapest of all "crack phones" as far as I can tell. You only have to pay $15 every three months to keep it going, if you give 'em your credit card number, or $20 every three months if you don't. The cheapest phone is $20, or about $18 at some stores. It uses the Sprint network, which prob. isn't as good as Verizon, but it's not bad. What network do the Motorola phones go through?

I'm new to this blog; I found it after reading a thread about the TV show "The Wire" where somebody mentioned Mr. Ray's Hair Weave commercials, so I googled Mr. Ray's Hair Weave to hunt for clips. I grew up in Maryland but I don't remember those commercials. I bet they're hilarious.

Lisa B. said...

Yes, they are!

Thanks for the phone tip--I'm pretty happy with my Tracfone crack phone, but if I ever need to switch I'll look into Virgin Mobile.