Monday, March 03, 2008

Bring dynamite and a crane blow it up and start all over again

I'm going to miss my cute little orange house when I have to move, but I don't think I'm really going to miss Trinity Park that much. The TP listserv has been very quiet except for lost/found dog and "please recommend a good _____" postings, but today another one of my idiot asshole neighbors posted something that demonstrates what kind of mentality one often sees in Trinity Park (I should note that based on his address, the guy is probably a renter. That makes it very likely that he's a Duke student of some sort, so maybe it's not fair to classify him as a normal Trinity Park resident. We all know that an institution like Duke will bring its share of undesirables into a 'hood.)

Apparently some guy, identified by a neighbor as "black" and "wearing a parka" kicked in dude's air conditioner and ripped off his apartment. So dude, in his e-mail to the listserv, asked people to please call the police if they see any "minorities" near his particular address. (The fact that someone is enough of a moron to send a comment like that to a public listserv is further evidence that he probably goes to Duke.)

Of course I responded immediately: "ATTENTION WHITE FOLKS: feel free to rob [dude's address]--apparently they only call the cops on "minorities. " Woo!" (The moron emailed me back privately and replied "No, it just seems that 'white folks' have never been visually confirmed but thanks," a lame-ass reply that demonstrates how he really doesn't get it. So I wrote back and told him he was a moron, because I think he needs to know. Maybe it will get me banned from the TP list, but fuck it, I'm moving.)

But soon-to-be-ex-Mr. Pants (who, in case you're new here, is black) beat the crap out of my flippant little post reply with his own:

I often walk down your street. Will the neighborhood be issuing special passwords or ID cards or passes for the good African Americans? I hope they're not too expensive. Now I'm a homeowner in the neighborhood, but I've also hired other African Americans to do work on my house. They may also walk down your street, so I may also need passes for them.

On a side note, a strategy that I've found effective is to actually lock my windows. You can also buy a cage for around your air conditioner if you must have one. I'm not exactly sure why you would have an air conditioner in place during the winter. I've got be careful here, perhaps the reason my house has never been broken into is because it's so easy to break into yours.

But I stray, you're correct having every black person who steps on your street or in our neighborhood harassed by the police is a lot more simple than you exercising common sense.

Good luck!


In other news, I had a little time yesterday to do some recon on the house hunt--that's where I drive by places to see if if scheduling a showing would be a waste of time. I checked out some places in the Lakewood/Lyon Park/whatever it's called neighborhood. The places I could afford in that neighborhood are really depressing ... and you bet your ass I'll move to Parkwood before I'll live there, no matter what my agent says. There were a couple of places in Northgate Park that look OK, but they're really close to Roxboro Street, which doesn't thrill me. I'm not really terribly cheerful about the house hunt right now because it's really looking like I'll end up in the ghetto no matter what. Or in a place like this. Shit, maybe I'll move to Wendell or someplace where I can afford an acre or so and just put in my own agility field so it won't be so bad not being close to my training center in Chapel Hill.

But there was one bright spot: I could own a house that has a tobacco barn in the backyard! I drove by it yesterday, and of course I had to slow way down and try to discern how much agility equipment I'd be able to fit in the back, when I noticed a strange structure. "Surely that's not a tobacco barn?" I thought. I re-checked the listing when I got home and yep, it is. But come to think of it, I don't really want a tobacco barn right in the middle of my back yard. I wonder if I could Freecycle it and give it to someone who does want a tobacco barn? Anyway, if you're looking for a house with a tobacco barn, I know where you can find one.

Our house still hasn't appeared on the MLS yet. There will be an open house on Sunday. Time to bake some cookies, I guess.


htrouser said...

I say cure your own delicious, delicious tobacco. Or dig a big pit inside it into which you can throw racist Duke students. Then again, you might not want them near your property.

I don't suppose you could just move to delightful Decatur, GA instead?

Lisa B. said...

I'm too lazy to look for a new job, or Decatur would be fine.

Ooh, a pit ... "It rubs the lotion on its skin." I can hear the delicious screaming now ...

Chris said...

Are you kidding? I'll take that barn. (Not certain it's a curing barn, but whatever...)

Duke Homestead is a great place to walk dogs after hours.

Lisa B. said...

I'm always looking for good dogwalking spots ... so you can just drive up and have the run of the place? (From this house one would be able to walk there.)

Oh, and I have no idea if it's a curing barn or just a barn barn. or if whoever bought the house would be allowed to move or remove it ...