Monday, September 29, 2008

One in five jobs today being created under the umbrella of job creation ...

God I love Tina Fey. (May take way too long to load the video, but it's worth the wait.)

Monday, September 22, 2008

Don't expect to find gasoline in Pikeville, NC ...

... so maybe you should just fill up your damn tank before driving through rural Cackalacky.

I went to to Kinston for a friend's wedding Saturday. I just assumed, spoiled city-slicker that I am, that whenever my tank neared empty there would be plenty of places to fill up. If I had taken the road more traveled (40E to 70E), that would have been the case, but at the bride's suggestion, and because I always like trying a new route to anywhere, I went 540 to 264 E, to 117 S. to 70E. That way goes through a lot of nowhere. It didn't help that I sort of forgot to pay attention to the gas gauge for a while, and when the needle approached E I realized I was in the middle of all that nowhere. Just after the little red light came on I reached an exit for Pikeville, NC.

I was a little disconcerted that the "Gas Next Exit" road sign had a large blank area where there should have been a gas station logo or two. As I couldn't conceive of a town with no gas station, my gas light was glowing and I had no real idea where the fuck I was or if there were any better choices of towns nearby, I took the exit anyway. Besides, unless the population of Pikeville were hungry zombies, I figured I'd be better off running out of gas there than along the highway.

Turns out there are two gas stations in Pikeville. One was closed. The other, the "Gas and Grab," was out of gas, leaving only grab, which I wasn't in the mood for. I went inside to ask if there was any fuel to be had in the vicinity, and it felt a little surreal, like a scene out of a movie. You know: overdressed city-type walks in on the local good ol' boys sitting around the store shooting the shit. Fortunately, they all had hearts of gold and we discovered in the end that deep-down inside we're all just people. Oh, and that I would find some gas a couple of miles down the road. I did.

The bride was lovely and we all lived happily ever after.

Friday, September 19, 2008

But I'll admit to using barbecue as a verb ....

I just had some banana pudding (from the lunch bar at Capital City Grocery) that tasted (very faintly, i'll grant) of cinnamon. I'm sure that's a violation of North Carolina statutes. I wonder who I should call to 'report it ...

Frenzy. Yay.

our new pet

We had a giant chicken delivered to our workplace yesterday. We are supposed to decorate it for a certain event. I think we should make it look deep-fried and put it on a stick.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Do they make a Roomba for lawns?

I'm afraid I'm going to be that neighbor who lets her grass get annoyingly long before she cuts it. I'm a little embarrassed that twice since I moved in my neighbor has cut the grass in the ditch at the left front of my house. I thanked him for it, and he said he did it because he realized it was probably hard for a smallish woman like me to maneuver the lawnmower through the ditch (he is absolutely correct). I still feel a little bad about it though, and I've resolved to always mow it before he feels he has to.

I think that means today. I got up this morning and realized that whatever plans I have for the weekend will need to be interrupted long enough for me to cut all this damn grass. (Confession: I stay up-to-date on my back yard lawn-mowing because I use that space almost daily for dog-training. It's the part the neighbors actually see that gets neglected.) I had read somewhere that when times are dry it's best to raise your lawn mower blades and not cut the grass too short. So that's what I've been doing, and it seems that my grass has been growing like ... er, weeds. Then I realized that we've really had a shitload of rain recently, and the grass is growing so well because it's happily sucking up as much water as it wants. Indeed, "they" say we are officially not in a drought at the moment. So the blades are coming down a notch or two.

The mowing brings to mind another dilemma I have regarding neighbors and neighborliness. I'm on a corner, and one strip of my property that borders the street to the west of me is sort of a "no man's land" in that it's outside of my fence and goes completely unused by me. It's exactly the kind of spot where people like to let their dogs poop without picking it up because they think the huge pile of Golden Retriever shit will inconvenience no one. But I still have to mow the grass there, which grows quite thick and lush and, yes, large mounds of Golden Retriever shit are quite an inconvenience to me. So now I'm wondering: should I put up one of those "Please pick up after your dog" signs in my side yard? Would it do any good at all--I mean, would someone who's obviously inconsiderate to begin with suddenly develop a neighborly conscience because of a sign? I really don't know because I always pick up after my dogs without being asked by a sign. It's just the right thing to do. Dammit.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Bad week

What a crummy week. Not for any reason I want to talk about (well, OK, it was a tragic death in the family of one of the nicest people I know). My prevailing mood has been "Meh. Whatever."

But I'm trying to remotivate myself for the weekend so I can get back into the swing of Doing Stuff Around The House. Because I have a confession to make: I still haven't really done much unpacking to speak of even though I moved in more than two months ago. Other than a spiffy paint job in the living room, I've done very little except mow the very large lawn many times with my spiffy new Toro Recycler mower. I just lost all motivation.

I think I realized the reason last week: I suddenly hate all my furniture. It never bothered me a bit in the old bungalow, even though most of it is nothing special, but in my little ranch it just seems all wrong. The dining room table is the wrong size and style for the dining room. The oriental rugs just don't work. The slipcovers on the sofa and chair seem dull (I think the living room is too dark for them), while in the other house they sort of worked. Without the slipcover the sofa looks sad because it is a bit worn and cat-scratched. I just feel like no matter what I do as far as decor, I'm not going to be happy with it, so why bother?

So I'm thinking perhaps I should just forget the living room for now and paint the bathroom. I'm thinking a little crazy, like maybe adding brown and pink to the existing blue-tile color scheme. Yes? No? Your opinion is valued here at A Complete Bunch of Pants.

Also, I think maybe I want to go downtown Saturday evening to see Razpa for free. Anybody? Bueller?

Thursday, September 04, 2008

You think you're alone until you realize you're in it

Thanks to Chris I've learned that Durham's own Scene of The Crime Rovers will be heading to Boston to participate in HONK FEST. They want you to give them some money. See their begging blog post for details on how to transfer your fundage into their coffers.

And in News About Pants, this year the NC State Fair will feature Subway's "Pants Dance Revolution" contest, in which one dances wearing pants to win stuff. And they mean pants in the American sense, i.e. trousers. Although it would be far more entertaining if they meant pants in the British sense, because then we could watch people dancing in their undies. Although there are some people I don't want to see dancing in their undies.